Look, if you’re going to do fish fingers and custard, do it properly.

Obligatory Doctor Who/cooking post.

Seriously, fish fingers and custard. Not a problem. You could get some frozen fish fingers and a tub of instant custard, but this way is much nicer.

1. Haddock or cod. Fillets, cut into chunks and then sliced into fingers across the grain, otherwise they fall apart when cooked.

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2. Dip into seasoned flour, then beaten egg, then panko breadcrumbs if you can find them. If not, make your own (in advance) by freezing some fresh bread if you havn’t got any stale bread hanging about, and then grating it. Don’t use those godawful orange bits of sawdust.

3. Deep fry according to your deep fryer instructions. Or use a pan. To be honest telling people to deep fry stuff using pans is making me nervous so I’m not going to write this bit other than to say DON’T FILL THE PAN MORE THAN HALF-WAY WITH OIL. To be safe it shouldn’t be more than 1/3rd full. Also, don’t use a plastic slotted spoon to get your fish out.

Right: custard.

Yeah, this is my way of making hollandaise. It looks like custard, though.

1. Beat 1 egg yolk with the juice of 1/2 lemon, a teeny pinch of salt and some pepper.

2. Melt 50g unsalted butter in a saucepan, heat so that it starts foaming, skim off the foam and then pour onto the yolk, whisking constantly as you do so.

3. Still whisking, pour back into the saucepan and carry on whisking on a low heat until it starts to thicken. Taste. Add more lemon if you wish. Carry on whisking until it’s thickened enough for you. Stop cooking at this point before it turns into scrambled egg.

Serve however you like, but a bowl of hollandaise with fish fingers poking out of it is fine.

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